i like the book for spiritual formation. it really has been the answer to my prayer that i have been asking God about since Christmas. the question was, "why am i not acting more christ-like despite my 'doing' of the spiritualdisciplines." it turns out that i am ingrained in the cultural norms of do stuff and get immediate results.
i see that god works behind the scenes and that it really starts with a growing relationship with jesus. so, it hasto be god conforming me and not me conforming myself. k, i think i get it. now, what does god need me to do withthese disciplines so he...has something to work with(?)...shows i have to keep reading.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Notepad Session: Gossip
gossip. one little word that can mean so much. it defines the evil that words can accomplish and cause people to commit. i see gossip all the time. it is like an addictive drug that is hard to quit. once you gossip, it never seems to stop. yet, it can have deadly consequences and destructive long-term results.
i have seen the blatant uselessness and damage that gossiping can cause. first it doesn't solve the gossipers problems with another person. if they are not willing to discuss the issues with a particular person then what goal does it accomplish besides making whoever look bad in front of the gossipers audience.
second- it destroys relationships. you can never have a good relationship with the other person on because what is between you to is unresolved. by refusing to talk and try to gain some common ground, there will always be bitterness and anger under the surface when you encounters them. this may cause you to look for reasons to complain about the person, instead of trying to look for ways to to get along and fix them.
it also wrecks relationships if gossip becomes a rumor. by talking about it with an audience, then every member of your audience can go and spread it with someone else who has had contact with them. and if that person found out that you had been talking with them behind their back, it could erupt feud or quiet into an emotional array of bitterness and animosity.
i hope and pray to God that i resist the urge to gossip. because it is the most useless and destructive kind of conversation. the Bible tells us to live quiet lives and mind their own business. proverbs and the book of james warned about controlling the tongue, and avoiding gossipping. i agree with it wholeheartedly. i pray that my words try to dissuade gossipping and urge them to discuss their problems with the other person and to not make a problem worse.
i know that's what I'd want. i would much rather have someone confront me with my sin against them, then to find out that they recruited a band of followers by gossipping about it. that is how godly people do it and that is what the Scriptures (including the words of Jesus!) call us to do.
Closing Prayer
Heavenly Father,I confess to you that my words are sinful. they have gossiped and have said Your name in vain many times. As a brother of mine long ago said, "My ears had heard of You but now my eyes have seen You. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes"(Job 42:5-6). I pray that You forgive me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness(1Jn1:9) through Jesus' blood that was shed on the cross. I thank You for Your forgiveness.
I pray that you help me to use my words for your glory and to resist the temptation to gossip and to use my words for evil. i pray my words do nothing but advance your kingdom and help me to know when I have messed up immediately so that i can repent and seek forgiveness and give me the courage to correct the wrongs and seek forgiveness. Love, Andrena Through the name of my Great Mediator, and my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Amen.
i have seen the blatant uselessness and damage that gossiping can cause. first it doesn't solve the gossipers problems with another person. if they are not willing to discuss the issues with a particular person then what goal does it accomplish besides making whoever look bad in front of the gossipers audience.
second- it destroys relationships. you can never have a good relationship with the other person on because what is between you to is unresolved. by refusing to talk and try to gain some common ground, there will always be bitterness and anger under the surface when you encounters them. this may cause you to look for reasons to complain about the person, instead of trying to look for ways to to get along and fix them.
it also wrecks relationships if gossip becomes a rumor. by talking about it with an audience, then every member of your audience can go and spread it with someone else who has had contact with them. and if that person found out that you had been talking with them behind their back, it could erupt feud or quiet into an emotional array of bitterness and animosity.
i hope and pray to God that i resist the urge to gossip. because it is the most useless and destructive kind of conversation. the Bible tells us to live quiet lives and mind their own business. proverbs and the book of james warned about controlling the tongue, and avoiding gossipping. i agree with it wholeheartedly. i pray that my words try to dissuade gossipping and urge them to discuss their problems with the other person and to not make a problem worse.
i know that's what I'd want. i would much rather have someone confront me with my sin against them, then to find out that they recruited a band of followers by gossipping about it. that is how godly people do it and that is what the Scriptures (including the words of Jesus!) call us to do.
Closing Prayer
Heavenly Father,I confess to you that my words are sinful. they have gossiped and have said Your name in vain many times. As a brother of mine long ago said, "My ears had heard of You but now my eyes have seen You. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes"(Job 42:5-6). I pray that You forgive me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness(1Jn1:9) through Jesus' blood that was shed on the cross. I thank You for Your forgiveness.
I pray that you help me to use my words for your glory and to resist the temptation to gossip and to use my words for evil. i pray my words do nothing but advance your kingdom and help me to know when I have messed up immediately so that i can repent and seek forgiveness and give me the courage to correct the wrongs and seek forgiveness. Love, Andrena Through the name of my Great Mediator, and my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
Amen.
Notepad Session: Reflecting on 2008
here i am on the train going back to bible college in kitchener. man was the vacation great. it is true that mom andi got into 3 fights but god used them for good because he used them to show me the sin in my life that must be dealt with.
as i watch the train go through kingston and listen to the people around me playing music (i thought that u neededheadphones to play it) and people talk amongst themselves i look back at 2008. 2008 was an interesting year. i wenton my first missions trip with Campus for Christ and completed my first full year of university education. it sawme change my employment path from a secularized to Christian career path. it also made me confront areas of my lifethat i don't like. yes, 2008 was a very full year for me.
now here i am in 2009. god is already beginning to work within me and point to things within me and things withoutthat i need explore, ponder, and question. one of them is where should i go on with my bachelor in theology whenit is complete? i have been thinking about it. in the car today, mom and i discussed how the school would helpme move on from next year.
i told her i wanted to go into youth ministry, but now i am not so sure. i have been thinking about going into young women's ministry, but does god want me to end with a 4-year bachelor? perhaps he does want me to go on to a master's and then a PhD. i know the difficulties it would involve but i cannot help but wonder if a bachelor is notenough christian education for me.
one of the things that involve a PhD in theology or divinity is learning the languages of the original manuscripts:hebrew and greek. i know that the votes are in about the languages: learning hebrew and greek is difficult. but these are the languages that the forefather's of my faith learned, even Jesus knew them! i think it would be a cooland worth it challenge to overcome. that and i would love to become someone who has complete education to be able to teach the bible to my family and show that the translations we have are accurate and reliable.
but is this what god wants? does god want me to complete my master's degree and PhD? is it in god's will for me to become a biblical scholar in a male-dominated profession? is it the academic spectrum that is where god seesme working for him? would help me grow in my faith and strengthen my defense of it? these questions are very important for a christian like me because, like Jesus, it is important for me to carry out God's will to further His kingdom.
unfortunately there is no verse in the bible, regardless of the language it is in ;), that specificallysays what god wants me to do and what his will for the majority of my life is. that is the one problem with God'sWord is that it is individual specific for the people who are in it. meaning it only tells us what god's plan wasfor people like abraham, isaac and jacob and everyone else that is specifically in it. well, actually, we do notknow the fate of everyone. for example, only secular history tells me how we go from the Persian Empire in Ezra/Nehemiah and Malachi to the Roman Empire in the gospels. secular history is also what tells me about the fatesof all the apostles, including Paul, and how the early church grew into the modern church i see today.
it would be cool to learn the history of the world from a christian perspective. now that i have completed my secularized part of my education and my secularized history courses, i want to know the other side of the story. like how the faith and Christian background of the Father's of Confederation influenced the name of the unitedcolonies to be the "Dominion of Canada" in 1864-1867. or how the faith of Nellie McClung and the famous five(?) sparked and was the reason for the push for women's rights--> not the moving away from it, like what happened in the 1960's. who knows, moving forward with this might be my ticket to Israel!!!
but like I said, no verse in the bible says where god wants me to go. and this decision about my career path andacademic studies was decided by god before the beginning of the world. amazing. so, i need to pray and seek god on the matter to find out what decision he made. it would be cool, though, to work in a place where i can take the bible as seriously, and have the academic authority, instead of just working in a ministry where it could be a whilebefore i could be honest about people when they have to change their lifestyle. with a academic background in theBible...hey it would difficult for members of my family to question what i say about the bible.
but it is all up to god, and whatever god wants should be bringing glory to him and not glory to myself. so, i bestjust pray, read/study the Scriptures and walk with jesus and jesus will guide me in the way of righteousness andon the path that he wants me to walk.
as i watch the train go through kingston and listen to the people around me playing music (i thought that u neededheadphones to play it) and people talk amongst themselves i look back at 2008. 2008 was an interesting year. i wenton my first missions trip with Campus for Christ and completed my first full year of university education. it sawme change my employment path from a secularized to Christian career path. it also made me confront areas of my lifethat i don't like. yes, 2008 was a very full year for me.
now here i am in 2009. god is already beginning to work within me and point to things within me and things withoutthat i need explore, ponder, and question. one of them is where should i go on with my bachelor in theology whenit is complete? i have been thinking about it. in the car today, mom and i discussed how the school would helpme move on from next year.
i told her i wanted to go into youth ministry, but now i am not so sure. i have been thinking about going into young women's ministry, but does god want me to end with a 4-year bachelor? perhaps he does want me to go on to a master's and then a PhD. i know the difficulties it would involve but i cannot help but wonder if a bachelor is notenough christian education for me.
one of the things that involve a PhD in theology or divinity is learning the languages of the original manuscripts:hebrew and greek. i know that the votes are in about the languages: learning hebrew and greek is difficult. but these are the languages that the forefather's of my faith learned, even Jesus knew them! i think it would be a cooland worth it challenge to overcome. that and i would love to become someone who has complete education to be able to teach the bible to my family and show that the translations we have are accurate and reliable.
but is this what god wants? does god want me to complete my master's degree and PhD? is it in god's will for me to become a biblical scholar in a male-dominated profession? is it the academic spectrum that is where god seesme working for him? would help me grow in my faith and strengthen my defense of it? these questions are very important for a christian like me because, like Jesus, it is important for me to carry out God's will to further His kingdom.
unfortunately there is no verse in the bible, regardless of the language it is in ;), that specificallysays what god wants me to do and what his will for the majority of my life is. that is the one problem with God'sWord is that it is individual specific for the people who are in it. meaning it only tells us what god's plan wasfor people like abraham, isaac and jacob and everyone else that is specifically in it. well, actually, we do notknow the fate of everyone. for example, only secular history tells me how we go from the Persian Empire in Ezra/Nehemiah and Malachi to the Roman Empire in the gospels. secular history is also what tells me about the fatesof all the apostles, including Paul, and how the early church grew into the modern church i see today.
it would be cool to learn the history of the world from a christian perspective. now that i have completed my secularized part of my education and my secularized history courses, i want to know the other side of the story. like how the faith and Christian background of the Father's of Confederation influenced the name of the unitedcolonies to be the "Dominion of Canada" in 1864-1867. or how the faith of Nellie McClung and the famous five(?) sparked and was the reason for the push for women's rights--> not the moving away from it, like what happened in the 1960's. who knows, moving forward with this might be my ticket to Israel!!!
but like I said, no verse in the bible says where god wants me to go. and this decision about my career path andacademic studies was decided by god before the beginning of the world. amazing. so, i need to pray and seek god on the matter to find out what decision he made. it would be cool, though, to work in a place where i can take the bible as seriously, and have the academic authority, instead of just working in a ministry where it could be a whilebefore i could be honest about people when they have to change their lifestyle. with a academic background in theBible...hey it would difficult for members of my family to question what i say about the bible.
but it is all up to god, and whatever god wants should be bringing glory to him and not glory to myself. so, i bestjust pray, read/study the Scriptures and walk with jesus and jesus will guide me in the way of righteousness andon the path that he wants me to walk.
Notepad Session: Review on Star Wars Forces of Corruption
so i have been play empire at war foc in order to get better at playing the zann consortium. i find that the consortium is better than both the allianceand the empire. why? because the zann consortium is not based on the tech-level system. both the empire and the alliance need to get their technology by leveling up. the consortium does not.the consortium already has all of its ships; however, itdoes purchase their troops' special abilities from the "black market". notsurprising considering it is a mercenary organization.
writing these text files during class are fun. it really helps to get mythoughts down. i never thought of myself as a writer but perhaps i was wrong.perhaps God wants me to use writing to reach young women at risk. i would haveto start small but i think it would be fun. the question is how...magazine?my own books? what would susie shellenberger do?hmmm...
well heavenly father, if this is where you want me to go and how you want meto reach people then here it is. i am giving my writing ability back to you andmy burden to reach young women back to you. take it and do what needs to bedone with it!
writing these text files during class are fun. it really helps to get mythoughts down. i never thought of myself as a writer but perhaps i was wrong.perhaps God wants me to use writing to reach young women at risk. i would haveto start small but i think it would be fun. the question is how...magazine?my own books? what would susie shellenberger do?hmmm...
well heavenly father, if this is where you want me to go and how you want meto reach people then here it is. i am giving my writing ability back to you andmy burden to reach young women back to you. take it and do what needs to bedone with it!
Friday, November 7, 2008
The Power of 1
1 is the smallest whole number that has some sort of value. In mathematics the basic number set is called "Natural Numbers". Its first number is the number 1 because the way we count naturally is to go "1, 2, 3..." Notice, we do not start with 0. Why? Because 0 is nothing. 0 has no value whatsoever, unless you are dealing with integers but even then 0 has no value because it is neutral.
1...1...1.
Working at a Drop-In Centre for people who are homeless or living in poverty, I contemplate how I could have ended up like them. And I cannot help but think that any 1 "What if?" would land me there. For example, what if I turned to drugs instead of suicide to solve/hide my problems? What if I never told the guy that I liked him through a love letter the summer before? What if I did not decide to accept Christ at Acquire the Fire a year later?
The letter I mentioned above set the wheels in motion that lead to the event aty Acquire the Fire. Oh yeah! One insignificant love letter, just one, took me on the journey to accept Christ. And to think that almost 2000 years before that, one man dying on a cross "so that the world through Him might be saved" (Jn. 3:17-18ish). And almost 1billion people claim to be allied with that Man to this day (Ma=Jesus). Amazing, huh?
Face it, the number 1 is the most powerful number in the system of numbers. One choice, one event, one wrong turn and everything is changed probably forever. Even something as simple as one choice about whether you stop for coffee in the morning or not. For all you know, that choice kept you from being in a car crash.
Biblical example? One bad choice by Adam gave us this sinfallen, cursed world that is full of pain, death and suffering from a once original perfect creation that we currently live in. One choice by God to bring us back to Him caused Jesus, His Son, to be sacrificed for the sake of many. One choice by Joseph to be faithful to God no matter what saved the young Israelite nation from a famine. The one choice of Abram to trust God, changed his name into the founding father of my faith: Abraham.
Even the movie industry sees the power in this number. Star Wars: One choice to turn to the dark side cost Anakin Skywalker his identity, his wife, his twins because he never had a relationship with them, and his freedom from the inprisonment of the life support suit (aka Darth Vader suite). It also cost him is friendship with Obi Wan. Perhaps it was one bad choice on both sides, because maybe Obi Wan should have waited for Anakin to come to Coruscant instead of sneaking on the Padme's ship.
Spiderman: One choice by Peter Parke to not stop a criminal cost him and Aunt May Uncle Ben.
Real Life/Recent History: Did you know that Adolf Hitler wanted to become an artist at first? Yep, it's true. However, they chose to reject his application...One choice, and instead of being known as an artist, Hitler is known as a monster to the entire world. There is even no room for any mentioning of Hitler, Nazism, or any anti-semitism in Germany at all. All of that just because ONE college made ONE choice to reject ONE of their many applications...
Wow. The one choice is a powerful choice. To choose God over my own selfish desires, to choose sin over righteousness cost me everything, even if it is hard to choose. Remember my readers how powerful the number 1 is...
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
First Black President
So, the the votes are in and the verdict is that history was made with the first black man for president. It was a long, grueling and expensive campaign between the other potential candidate for the leader of his own party and and against his presidential opponent.
Well, my fellow 12th grade history classmate, you were right. The next US president was going to be a black man or a woman. Now the question I have to ask you is this: does the colour of the person's skin or their particular gender matter in politics? What good are either of those traits if they cannot run the country?
I know I am just speculating; however, economic times like these are what put political leaders to the test. Just like economics was the focus for the Canadian Federal Election last month, so too was it the focus of the American Federal Election. Now comes the question of whether or not the minority government in Canada and soon-to-be President Obama will step up to the plate and prove to be everything they promised in their campaigns and after the election? Or will we all go home and say, "Why didn't we stick with the white guy?"
Now, I am just speculating. But I'll say it again: it is not the colour of the skin or the gender of the person that makes the leader. Obama is the first black man to become the president of the United States... Lets hope that there is more to him than just the colour of his skin when het gets sworn in January 20, 2009.
Here is a picture of Darth Vader. Lets also hope that Obama and Harper do not turn Canada and the U.S. of A. into the Galactic Empire!
Well, my fellow 12th grade history classmate, you were right. The next US president was going to be a black man or a woman. Now the question I have to ask you is this: does the colour of the person's skin or their particular gender matter in politics? What good are either of those traits if they cannot run the country?
I know I am just speculating; however, economic times like these are what put political leaders to the test. Just like economics was the focus for the Canadian Federal Election last month, so too was it the focus of the American Federal Election. Now comes the question of whether or not the minority government in Canada and soon-to-be President Obama will step up to the plate and prove to be everything they promised in their campaigns and after the election? Or will we all go home and say, "Why didn't we stick with the white guy?"
Now, I am just speculating. But I'll say it again: it is not the colour of the skin or the gender of the person that makes the leader. Obama is the first black man to become the president of the United States... Lets hope that there is more to him than just the colour of his skin when het gets sworn in January 20, 2009.
Here is a picture of Darth Vader. Lets also hope that Obama and Harper do not turn Canada and the U.S. of A. into the Galactic Empire!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The "Charismatic" Movement Part I: my Experiences
My exposure to Charismatic Churches began when I moved to a small town outside of Ottawa I started going to a church called River of Life Christian Fellowship. I went there because I thought it was non-Denominational and I was unsure about where I stood when it came to denominations. Boy, was I wrong!!!
So, during worship I started to raise my arms (which was extremely painful). I went up to the front and got my head touched. I went to the Dream Conference and everything...However, nothing happened. No falling down, speaking in tongues, no nothing. That and that concert seemed to focus on only one thing: charismatic gifts, not the Bible... Another thing was that speaker did do a good job of getting everyone all rallied up. Q: "What's the problem with getting a crowd rallied up?" A: "It'll believe everything you say".
River of Life Christian Fellowships (ROLCF) are all over the country and are a part of a sect (for lack of a better term) that are known as "Charismatic" Churches. Now I left that church to join another one. Why? I left because of the Charismatic stuff.
Now, I have been to two Charismatic Churches: The church mentioned above and a Pentecostal Church in the same town. I left them both for a couple of reasons. Now, I knew nothing of the Pentecostal movement before I went to them but I left without diving deeper either because I knew something wasn't right.
The reason why I left the first one was because I was 100% uncomfortable being there. That and an average service was 3 hours long! People shouting after receiving communion, and just lying on the floor and stuff was just caused me to back away. I would later find out that it was for a good reason.
You know why I love the Word of God? It is because God used it to save my life during the year of suicidal attempts, and because I understood what the foundation of my faith was.
When I went to the Pentecostal Church, it was just to go to their youth group. At first it was focused on the Word of God and I learned a great deal of it in Grade 10. Even the Dream Convention they went to every year in TO was biblical. However, I noticed that the people were doing the exact same thing that the people at ROLCF were doing. At first I went with the flow. Then along comes grade 11.
So, during worship I started to raise my arms (which was extremely painful). I went up to the front and got my head touched. I went to the Dream Conference and everything...However, nothing happened. No falling down, speaking in tongues, no nothing. That and that concert seemed to focus on only one thing: charismatic gifts, not the Bible... Another thing was that speaker did do a good job of getting everyone all rallied up. Q: "What's the problem with getting a crowd rallied up?" A: "It'll believe everything you say".
He also told "Wow" stories, like reading from a newspaper that had an ad for human body parts and a heart wrenching story about abortion. Don't get me wrong, I am very pro-life. However, these stories sounded to awful and emotional to be true. And worse, it showed how gullible I was! Worse, all I could care about was doing something else other than seeing my Mom on Mother's Day (which was the day I got back)!Luckily, my Mom brought me to my senses.
Then along came my brother Ed, who also also has a blog site, and I discussed it with him. You know what he said? That sort of thing comes and goes. However, the Word of God has stood the test of time.
I thought a lot about what he said and about that Convention. I realized that he was right. Things at youth group just went down hill,because of teh change in leadership and stuff but my love for God's Word grew stronger. That and that Convention pretty much killed my best friend's faith because nothing happened to her either!!
I left that youth group in grade 12 and divorced myself from the youth group scene all together. It was not jsut the charismatic stuff. I also did not like the other places where the youth were mostly just there to socialize and were not really interested in the biblical part of it at all. Was I annoyed? Oh Yeah!!! Makes me so glad that Bible College and post-secondary Christians in general are actually serious about their faith and do not just take it for granted!!
However to all of my Christian readers out there: Trust in the BIBLE!!!!!! Jesus said that God's Word, that was spoken by the Word (Jesus, c John 1:1), will never pass away. Bring everything under Scripture. If it is not in there, or it contradicts the Bible, then through whatever it is out!!
Part II will be written tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
